I'm Not Broken
by OverlyCheerfulRat
Summary: Sasuke grew up thinking that his older brother, kidnapped at age thirteen, was dead. Now Itachi is back, albeit traumatized and unable to care for himself. He starts to care for his brother, and eventually notices that Itachi has developed a crush on a boy in his therapy group.
1. Chapter 1

Ever since the kidnaping, Sasuke had traded roles with Itachi, stepping in to play "big brother" and caretaker for the now crippled young man. He'd taken some time off from school to help his brother adjust, and while Itachi had been grateful to him at first-their parents refused to hire a nurse or let him stay in the hospital any longer, saying he could figure things out on his own-he quickly began to regret accepting Sasuke's offer of help. The younger boy had no regard for Itachi's dignity, which he had proven the very first day after the hospital. He woke Itachi up as gently as he could, helped him sit up, and then slid a pale hand into his elder brother's pajama bottoms. Itachi yelped and tried to push him away, but Sasuke just hushed him. "Sorry, nii-san, but Mom told me to check your diaper periodically." Itachi had no answer to that, but he weakly pushed at Sasuke with his non-broken arm.

His baby brother was insultingly gentle, treating him like a fragile toy that could break at the drop of a hat, or a helpless child who might burst into tears at any moment. The latter was closer to the truth than anyone cared to admit- their parents liked to pretend Itachi hadn't started screaming when Fugaku hugged him in the hospital. (He didn't recognize him at first, all he saw was a man, another huge grown man just like... and then he was screeching like a wounded animal, hitting and scratching his father in a blind panic, soiling the hospital bed without even noticing.) Sasuke spoke just barely above a whisper, moved slowly so Itachi could see where his hands were, and never touched his brother anywhere below the waist if he could help it. He was gentle when bathing him, washing him off quickly without mentioning his mangled legs or what was no longer between them, talking about things his boyfriend had done at school that day.

At first, the coddling was appreciated. Itachi had spent the past eight years in a barn, cold and hungry and in pain, so the gentle words were obviously a welcome change. But when Sasuke took him out in public-just to a tiny bookstore, somewhere quiet with very few people to frighten him-he realized he was embarrassing his little brother. The taller boy helped him out of the back seat and into his wheelchair, squeezing his shoulder gently before pushing him inside. Itachi stared at his lap when they entered the store, avoiding questioning glances from a woman sitting behind the counter. Sasuke ruffled his hair and took him into the adult nonfiction section, scanning the books while keeping up a conversation with his brother. Several minutes passed with no problem, but then a tall man walked into the aisle. Itachi's breath caught in his throat, and he began to suck his thumb nervously. It was a comfort mechanism he had picked up shortly after he was taken, but when Sasuke glanced up from his book he quickly pulled Itachi's hand away from his mouth. "I think it's time to go home, nii-san. You did so well today, I'm proud of you..."

On another outing a few days later, this time to Sakura's house, Itachi tugged on Sasuke's sleeve. "I had an accident," he informed him in his usual monotone. Sakura smiled sympathetically at him, clearly uncomfortable. Sasuke took his brother to the bathroom, where he lectured him as he changed his diaper. "Don't say things like that in front of other people. Now Sakura is going to think you're weird-adults aren't supposed to wear diapers. Do you ever want to come over here again?" "Not really." Sasuke sighed. "That's another thing. Itachi, you need to quit being so blunt about everything." Itachi stared at his brother in shock, years of abuse having left their mark on him. "It's bad to lie," he informed him. "You don't have to lie, just try and sound nicer when you tell the truth."

He began to wonder if he was bothering Sasuke in other areas as well. Going such a long time with only one person around to talk to had made Itachi's already poor social skills completely nonexistant, and he had no problem telling Sasuke exactly what he was feeling at any given moment. Usually, that was "scared". Itachi was terrified of everything, and clung to his baby brother like a toddler clings to a blanket or stuffed toy. He was afraid to leave the house at first, and even though Sasuke was eventually able to coax him outside, he still panicked when men talked to him. There was one particularly embarrassing incident where a man placed a hand on his shoulder, and Itachi punched him in the face. Sasuke had to explain to a complete stranger that, yes, he was the crying young man's caretaker, and, no, he wasn't normally like this. When they got home, Sasuke lectured his brother for almost an hour on how to behave in public.

"Don't hit people. You can get arrested for that, do you want to go to jail?" Itachi whimpered at that, and Sasuke remembered what he'd told his brother about the man who kidnapped him-that he was in jail. "Not the same jail as the man who hurt you. He's in... he's in a different, bigger jail, and he's never getting out." Itachi smiled a little at that. "Never?" "Never, nii-san. Your otouto made sure of that," Sasuke said darkly. Not understanding the implication, Itachi grabbed Sasuke's hand, happy that his brother would protect him.


	2. Chapter 2

Nonou Yakushi was a busy woman. She worked for CPS, and as a result was usually away from home, leaving her two adopted sons alone or with a babysitter. When Urushi and Kabuto were younger, they had waited up for her, but for some reason they stopped when they were six and four, respectively. Nonou was never really sure why, but she didn't let it bother her too much. Looking back, she wished more than anything that she had asked why, but she never did. When Kabuto went from a talkative, cheerful little boy to a withdrawn, shy child, she assumed he was nervous about starting school. When he continued to wet the bed well into his teenage years, she assumed he had a weak bladder and made him wear pull-ups to sleep. She didn't notice the way Urushi looked at his little brother, or the way Kabuto flinched at his touch. She never thought it strange that Kabuto wore sweaters all year round, or that he cried so easily.

When Kabuto was nineteen years old, Nonou finally realized what was going on. She got off work early, but instead of going to the library like she usually did, she drove home to spend some time with her sons. When she opened the door, she was greeted not by the usual silence, but by high-pitched screaming from the room her boys shared. Nonou ran down the hall and into their room, where she froze in her tracks. Urushi was holding a pocket knife, smiling as he cut his little brother's genitals. Both boys were naked, showing the scars all across Kabuto's torso and arms. Nonou stayed completely still until Kabuto looked over and saw her there. "Mother!"

Everything happened so quickly after that. Nonou grabbed Kabuto, holding him close to her as she called the police. Urushi stammered out an apology and desperately tried to come up with an excuse, but later pleaded guilty to charges of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. After the trial, Nonou found herself sitting in her room with her younger son, stroking his hair and trying not to cry. Kabuto had already told the judge exactly what his brother did to him, and Nonou wondered how she could have missed it for so many years. She worked with abused children for a living, and she had somehow failed to notice what was happening under her own roof.

Kabuto, meanwhile, was still shocked that the judge had believed him. Urushi was in prison. He couldn't hurt him anymore. The constant abuse from his older brother had become such a huge part of Kabuto's life that he wasn't sure how to act now. The sudden freedom was overwhelming-he could go to sleep without worrying that Urushi would touch him or worse, he could come home to a safe haven instead of a harsh prison. Most of all, he could eat. Starting when they were twelve and ten, Urushi had denied Kabuto food and forced him to throw up what little he did eat at home. Kabuto only ate at school, and no one noticed his weight loss under the baggy clothes he wore every day.

It had been years since Urushi went to jail. Kabuto lived on his own in a tiny apartment, had a low paying job at the library, and went to a therapy group for people with PTSD. He didn't talk to his neighbors or anyone else if he could help it, he still wet the bed, he jumped at loud noises and cried way too easily. Nonou was incredibly perky when she saw him, as if trying to make up for overlooking Kabuto's abuse at the hands of his own brother.


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, nii-san, here we are..." Itachi glanced up at the brick building, frowning. He brought his hand up to his mouth, but Sasuke pushed it down. "You're too old to suck your thumb." Itachi made a soft whining noise, but Sasuke hushed him and pushed the wheelchair inside. While his brother talked to the receptionist, Itachi thought about how he'd developed that habit in the first place-it was a few months after his history teacher kidnapped him. He had been lying on the floor of the barn, staring out the window at the moon, and thinking about how Fugaku had yelled at him for sucking his thumb when he was five. Without thinking, Itachi had slipped his thumb into his mouth, and it helped him ignore his surroundings for the time being. He was jolted back to the present when Sasuke began pushing him towards a room at the end of a long hall painted light blue.

There were about eight people in the room, sitting around a table and awkwardly talking amongst themselves. A few looked up when Sasuke and Itachi entered, and the older of the two looked down at his lap, unconsciously shoving his thumb into his mouth. Sasuke didn't bother to say anything to him, deciding that it would be a futile effort and would only draw attention to it. Instead, he pushed his brother to the table, placing him between two women, one in her eighties and the other probably in her early twenties. The girl closer to him in age glanced shyly at Itachi, then adjusted her glasses and started fidgeting with the hem of her purple skirt. The therapist smiled warmly at him. "Well, can you tell us your name?" Itachi hesitantly removed his thumb from his mouth. "I'm Itachi," he whispered nervously. "My name's Tsunade, and welcome to group therapy! Today's a free day, so we're just chatting."

Sasuke, knowing that his brother couldn't "just chat", pulled up a chair and smiled at the gray haired young woman on his left. "Hey, this is my brother. He's pretty shy, but maybe a pretty girl could get him to open up?" "I'm actually a guy." Sasuke blinked, his mouth opening in an O of surprise. "Oh... uh... sorry about that. I just thought, because of the skirt..." "It's fine. My name's Kabuto." This was directed at Itachi, who glanced at him nervously. "You seem normal," he stated bluntly. Kabuto's smile wavered slightly. "My brother was... he wasn't great. Why are you here, or do you mind me asking?" Itachi shook his head frantically. "Why are you wearing a skirt?" "It's comfortable." Itachi was silent for a minute. "It makes you look pretty," he finally said. "Thanks."

The therapy session ended shortly after that, but Itachi and Kabuto continued talking for a few minutes until Tsunade politely kicked them out. "How about you two meet up again before the next group?" Sasuke suggested this in a somewhat sarcastic manner, but the two older boys considered it seriously before agreeing. "There's a little café near my apartment," Kabuto offered. "I'd like to go," Itachi responded with a smile. They waved at each other as they parted ways, Kabuto calling his mother to pick him up, Sasuke helping Itachi into his car. "I like him," Itachi said as they left. "Yeah, he seems nice. It'll be good for you to make a friend who understands what you're going through." Itachi nodded. "I'm gonna run by Naruto's house real quick," Sasuke continued. Noticing the way his brother blanched at those words, he grinned apologetically. "Sorry, but I forgot-uh-some stuff at his house last night, you can wait in the car. He's not his dad, nii-san, remember that." Itachi nodded, but he nervously sucked his thumb until Sasuke got back. He knew it wasn't fair to be mad at Naruto for what Minato did, but at the same time, he couldn't exactly forget who tortured him for eight years.

A/N: My Tumblr buddy orochimemelord helped me with this chapter and several future chapters as well.


	4. Chapter 4

The café trip was a complete disaster. Sasuke and Itachi got there late, due to Itachi throwing up from nerves in the car. When they finally did arrive, the elder Uchiha brother firmly refused to remove his thumb from his mouth, and was trembling visibly. Sasuke waved at Kabuto, who was sitting by himself at a corner table, wearing a lace-trimmed dress. As the older boys talked casually (well, Kabuto talked, Itachi sucked his thumb and nodded occasionally), Sasuke scanned the menu for something his brother could eat without assistance. Itachi's hands trembled badly and he couldn't close his fingers all the way, which obviously made it difficult for him to grip a fork or spoon long enough to get the thing to his mouth. Sasuke usually had to feed him, but he didn't want to embarrass his brother in front of the kind new boy he was getting along with.

After Sasuke eventually bought a cookie for Itachi, and Kabuto politely said he wasn't hungry, the trio made their way to an outdoor table. "So, tell me about yourself," Sasuke said awkwardly. Kabuto smiled nervously and fidgeted with his glasses. "Um... I'm twenty-four years old, I work at the library, I live in an apartment over that way..." "No, why are you in therapy?" Silence fell as the two stared at each other and Itachi carefully broke off a piece of cookie and began the process of getting it into his mouth without dropping it on the ground. "I barely know you," Kabuto said finally. "Oh, come on. It can't be that bad." At that, Kabuto's eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses, but he didn't say anything until Sasuke added, "My brother has it much worse than you."

Kabuto glanced at Itachi, who had managed to insert the cookie and was looking very proud of himself, then at Sasuke again. "Who the hell are you to say that? You don't know what happened to me. You weren't there." Sasuke stared at him for a long moment, then stood up abruptly. "We're leaving," he told his brother. "But I-" "Hush." Itachi looked down and stuck his thumb in his mouth, dejected. "And stop that!" Itachi whimpered but kept his thumb where it was, until Sasuke angrily grabbed his hand and shoved it down. Kabuto bit his lip and looked after them, wanting to follow but afraid that Sasuke would yell or hit him. "I'll see you at the group," he finally called. Neither Uchiha gave any indication that they'd heard him, so he watched silently as Sasuke pushed his brother back to their car.

"Why'd we leave so fast?" "Because I don't think Kabuto is a good influence on you," Sasuke responded without looking into the backseat. Itachi resumed sucking his thumb and staring out the window, remembering the look on his brother's face as they left. He'd been angry, so angry that he practically shoved his elder brother into the car and roughly buckled his seatbelt while muttering to himself. The thing that stuck in Itachi's memory the most, though, was that when he tried to calm himself down by sucking his thumb, Sasuke slapped his hand away from his face. "I told you to STOP THAT!" Itachi had started to cry, but his brother just slammed the door and got in the front seat. When they finally got home, Sasuke gently stroked his brother's hair before taking him inside.

That night, Itachi lay awake in bed and stared at the ceiling as he thought about his relationship with his brother. Years ago, before Minato had offered to give him a ride home, before he was crippled and traumatized, he had been a calm, collected person and an older brother Sasuke admired greatly. He remembered that, and he thought that the person he used to be would object to his future self's treatment. But that Itachi was dead, murdered by a teacher who liked to hurt his students in unimaginable ways, and only a frightened little boy remained. One who didn't see any problem with a sixteen-year-old making decisions for his adult brother, or a caretaker hitting their charge. The current Itachi rolled onto his side, put his thumb in his mouth, and fell asleep almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was on the phone in the kitchen, talking to the headmaster of his school. Fugaku had decided that he'd missed enough of his education, but since he still refused to hire a nurse or au pair, Sasuke had convinced the school to let him bring his brother with him. They agreed on the condition that Itachi stay quiet in the back of the class. He hadn't told his brother yet, and when he went to wake him up the next morning, he realized what a mistake that was. Everything started off fine-better than fine, in fact. Itachi was already awake when Sasuke walked in, and he smiled slightly at his little brother. "Sasuke, look, I didn't have any accidents." The younger Uchiha checked his brother's diaper to verify this, then grinned at him. "All dry, huh? Good job, nii-san. Let's see if you can keep it up at school today." Itachi blinked. "School?" "Yeah. I have to go back to school, and you're coming along for the ride."

Before Itachi had time to process that statement, Sasuke pulled some clothes from his closet, helping him dress. They were in the car before Itachi quite understood what was happening. It didn't sink in until Konoha Academy came into sight, but for a moment he thought it might be okay. Then Sasuke helped him out of the car and into the building. Itachi looked around, wide-eyed, thumb in his mouth, until they reached Sasuke's classroom. Several students turned to look at him, and Itachi distinctly heard a blonde girl whisper, "What the hell is he wearing?" The older Uchiha brother looked down at his clothes, suddenly self-conscious. Sasuke had dressed him in overalls and a fluffy yellow sweater with ducks on the sleeves. Mikoto had bought all his clothes without asking for his actual input, but up until that moment, Itachi hadn't minded wearing the babyish pastels she'd chosen. Since returning from the hospital two months ago, he hadn't seen anyone but his family.

Now, his face burned as he looked at the overalls, which didn't do a great job of hiding the bulky diaper he was wearing-the diaper he now realized was wet. He considered telling Sasuke, but the thought of having his diaper changed in a school restroom where anyone could walk in made him nauseous, so he kept his mouth shut and continued the import task of sucking his thumb and pretending he was somewhere else. During the actual lesson, Itachi zoned out and stared off into space, unaware that people were staring at him and wondering what his deal was. When the first break rolled around, Sasuke's boyfriend up to his desk, grinning widely. Itachi snapped back to reality when he saw the familiar features-blond hair, tan skin, blue eyes... everyone turned as he screamed in terror, a horrible, animal sound.

Naruto backed away, hurt and guilty. He watched the older Uchiha brother cover his face with his arms as if to protect himself from being hit, and remembered how much he resembled his father. Sasuke bent over so he could be eye-level with Itachi, murmuring reassurances. Itachi whimpered and grabbed at his brother's shirt, terrified beyond belief. ""Hush, nii-san. Be quiet now. No one is going to hurt you here, okay? Are you listening to me?" When his brother continued to sob, Sasuke wrapped a jacket around his shoulders and pushed him out of the classroom. Itachi calmed down a bit, but grabbed Sasuke's arm and stared up at him. "That wasn't Minato," Sasuke snapped. "You need to calm down, nii-san. They're not gonna let you come back here with me now, do you know that? You'll have to stay with that weird old lady across the street."


	5. Chapter 5

"That weird old lady across the street" turned out to be nicer than Sasuke. Itachi felt guilty for thinking that, but he couldn't help it-Chiyo was gentle and sweet, and she talked to him like an equal. Sasuke had taken Itachi to her house early in the morning, and left him in the living room while he explained everything to Chiyo. "My brother has extremely severe PTSD, so you've got to be really careful with him. He's also completely incontinent, paralyzed from the waist down, sensitive to loud noises and bright lights, he can't feed himself or write, and he cries very easily. When you have to change his diaper, don't talk about the burn scars or how he doesn't have a... just don't mention it."

As soon as Sasuke left, Chiyo walked into the living room and sat down next to Itachi, smiling gently. "What do you like to do?" Itachi stared at her blankly. "I... I don't know," he finally responded. "Well, it seems to me like you need a hobby of some sort. Do you like puzzles?" "Maybe?" Chiyo took him into the kitchen and sat down at the table, where a huge jigsaw puzzle was set out. Itachi tried to pick up some of the pieces, but they were too small. "I don't think I can do this," he whispered, embarrassed. "That's fine. I have another one with bigger pieces-you'll be able to pick those up."

A few minutes later, Chiyo had laid a huge puzzle out on the living room floor. Then, with no warning, she picked Itachi up and set him on the floor. "I'm not supposed to-!" "It's fine, dear. I can put you back in your wheelchair when we're done. You weigh thirty pounds soaking wet." Itachi hesitantly grabbed two puzzle pieces and tried to fit them together, glancing at Chiyo. "Is this right?" "You tell me," she responded gently. "Y-yes?" Chiyo smiled and nodded at him, and Itachi gave her a small smile in return before putting more pieces together.

When Itachi finished the puzzle, Chiyo put him back in his wheelchair and took him to the kitchen table, where she gave him a piece of paper and some paints. She told stories about her grandson as Itachi painted a picture of Sasuke, then smiled at him when he showed her the result. "It's very nice." "It doesn't look like him..." "You did your best, dear." "D-don't patronize me," Itachi muttered. He stiffened in fear after saying it, but Chiyo just laughed and ruffled his hair. "Alright. It's not bad, but I doubt you've got a career as an artist in your future."


	6. Chapter 6

"Sasuke?" Itachi tugged on his brother's sleeve, glancing around the waiting room nervously. His brother pushed his hand away without looking at him. "The doctor's going to call us soon, so you'll have to wait..." "I'm scared," Itachi whispered, trying to keep his voice down for Sasuke's sake-his brother didn't like him to talk around other people. Sasuke gave him a look and sighed. "It's going to be fine. Just relax." "But I-" "I said be quiet, nii-san." Itachi looked down and stuck his thumb in his mouth, wondering why Sasuke had dressed him the way he had. Normally, his brother put him in overalls and a sweater, but today he was wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He wasn't complaining-this was comfortable, and he looked more mature than usual-but it was out of character for Sasuke.

Before he could think more about that, a nurse emerged and called his name. Itachi looked up, startled, and Sasuke pushed him over to her. "Hi! I'm gonna need you to come back here so we can check his weight and height," the nurse said pleasantly. Sasuke helped Itachi stand up and held him in place for that part, and Itachi noticed that his brother was several inches taller than him. Afterwards, the nurse escorted them into an exam room. "The doctor will be here in a minute, but you'll have to change into a hospital gown first, okay?" Itachi blinked at her, then realized what that entailed. "I'll pass," he said immediately. Sasuke glared at him, while the nurse looked confused. "I'm afraid it's not optional, dear," she said awkwardly, smiling slightly.

Itachi felt his pulse speeding up. Someone was going to see him in a hospital gown, practically naked. "Please don't make me," he whispered, looking from his brother to the nurse, horrified by the prospect. "I'm so sorry, but-" "No, ma'am, it's fine. I'll help him change-my brother is just being a brat," Sasuke said with a forced laugh. The nurse smiled uncomfortably and left. The minute she did, Sasuke glared at Itachi and began removing his clothes. Itachi yelped and then, without thinking, slapped his brother across the face. Sasuke stumbled back and stared at him for a moment, before taking a deep breath and resuming his task, ignoring Itachi's frantic protests. Several minutes later, Sasuke had managed to strip his brother and wrestle him into a hospital gown, but Itachi was still sobbing. "Stop that. You're acting like a child," Sasuke scolded.

The doctor entered a few minutes later, and immediately patted the exam table. "Could you put him up here?" Sasuke nodded and easily lifted his frightened brother onto the exam table, laying him flat on his back. Itachi had stopped crying, but when his brother let go of him, he whimpered and stretched his arms out, grabbing at Sasuke's clothes. "He can hold your hand if he's frightened," the doctor offered. Sasuke sighed, but held Itachi's trembling hand as the doctor held up a light. "Can you open your mouth for me?" Itachi winced at that, remembering all the times Minato had told him to do that and what had followed, but he understood that this was different. No one would hurt him if Sasuke was there. He squeezed his brother's hand tighter before doing as the doctor said.

Everything went fairly smoothly, and eventually the doctor helped Itachi sit up on the exam table. Sasuke sat down next to him and held him up, rubbing his shoulder and muttering, "We're almost done, nii-san. You're doing great." The doctor asked Sasuke several questions, but Itachi tuned out and stared out the window, watching cars pass. And then he felt liquid running down the inside of his thigs. Itachi looked down and realized that he was wetting himself, and grabbed his brother's shirt. "Sasuke, Sasuke," he whispered looking at urine running down his legs. Sasuke inhaled sharply and frantically apologized to the doctor. "I am so, so sorry-he's incontinent, and I had to remove the... the diaper, for the examination, I forgot completely... oh, god, this is... I'll clean it up..."

The doctor was perfectly civil about it, and left the room so Sasuke could clean his brother and the exam table. "I didn't mean to," Itachi muttered, sucking his thumb. "I know you didn't, nii-san. No one's mad at you." When they got back to their house, Sasuke took Itachi into the living room and told him to readd a book for a while. Then he left without giving Itachi a book. The older Uchiha brother sat quietly and fidgeted with his hair, still burning with shame from his accident.


End file.
